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lyrics

In the alley behind my house lives a three legged dog named Topeka. He found me doing damage to a half a pint of rum from Costa Rica. He said, “I hate to interrupt a man so evidently enjoying his libation, but I come to bring you news of an impending violent confrontation. You see there’s a man with a grudge and a badge and a gun. And a witness who will say you shot some mother’s favorite son. Now a man ain’t a dog and a jail ain’t a pound but a cage is a cage is a cage when it goes down.”

I said, “Topeka, what you say is unexpected, and might I add, somewhat alarming. Every indication’s been that law enforcement’s always found me charming. I demand to know the source of these slanderous fabrications regarding my relations with practitioners of the piggly-wiggley vocation. To put it bluntly though I’m drinking I think you’re the one who’s drunk. You’ve confused this righteous individual with some young strung-out punk. I don’t want to hear from other sources you’ve been spreading this around. It don’t take two kicks to knock a three-legged dog down.”

He said, “Charm’s a dangerous weapon in the hands of politicians, priests, and lechers. This time you may have charmed yourself a ticket to a paramedic’s stretcher. You see that woman you seduced and then abandoned with habitual unkindness was bound in holy matrimony to a member of our city’s finest. Now you might have been a martyr if your manner had been meek but you kowtowed to tyrants and bullied the weak. I don’t give a damn if you swim or you drown just as long as they say you was warned when it went down.”

I said, “Topeka hear me out now I was hasty with my threats. Topeka listen to me, please, you know I always pay my debts. I need a favor from that friend of yours, and I need it in a hurry. That man’ll shoot me where I stand, you know I’ll never see a jury. Never ever have a chance to plead my case before my peers, there’s no justice in this world, only misery and tears.”

He didn’t have to lift a leg to drench my shoes. He said, “I miss my fourth foot, but I won’t miss you. If you don’t stand for nothin’, sit your ass on the ground, but don’t you come crawling to me when it goes down.”

credits

from Stay Ahead of the Wolf, released October 18, 2019
Written by Owen Lyman-Schmidt
Arranged and performed by Driftwood Soldier

Driftwood Soldier is:
Owen Lyman-Schmidt: Vocals, Mandolin, Suitcase, License Plate
Bobby Szafranski: Bass Guitar, Bottle Caps

Produced by Driftwood Soldier with Erin McKeown
Recorded by Alex Santilli and Eric Bogacz at Spice House Sound in Philadelphia, PA
Mixed by Ted Hutt and Ryan Mall at Kingsize Soundlabs in Eagle Rock, CA
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

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Driftwood Soldier Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Driftwood Soldier is no average mandolin-bass foot-stomping gutter-folk duo.

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