I was sitting on the barstool that fits me best dreaming of a place I’ve never been. Where the best of all intentions lounge around a poolside Tiki bar chatting with the wages of Sin. And the bartender, whose name I really should know, said to me, “Sam, today must be your lucky day, ‘cause that piece of work that just walked in would like to sponsor your next drink. and I’ll get it for you, but I got one thing to say.”

“You can’t always walk on the sunny side of the street. Don’t you pick up every penny that you see. We’re all just animals, trying our damndest to survive. Just cause you ain’t paid yet, don’t make it free.”

I said, “That’s nice, in a fortune cookie kind of way. I’ll have a splash of soda and a triple pour of gin.” He said, “Some people don’t know when to stop, but I see that you know right where to begin.” Now with my drink in hand I went to find my patroness. She was sitting in a booth all by herself. I said, “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this distinct pleasure but I’d like to drink this drink to your good health.”

“I don’t always walk on the sunny side of the street. I don’t pick up every penny that I see. But I’m an animal, trying my damndest to survive, and I appreciate your generosity.”

She said, “Appreciation’s fine if you’re in finance, but I had something more corporeal in mind, ‘cause they don’t make men like you on no factory line. You must have grown big as you are on a crawling melon vine. I’ve got a whole bottle of what you’re drinking, and it’s within easy reach of my bed. If I’ve learned one thing this whole time I’ve been living,” she lit half a cigarette and said,

“You’ve got to always walk on the sunny side of the street. You’ve got to pick up every penny that you see. We’re all just animals, trying our damndest to survive. You’ve got to take every opportunity.”

I said, “That metaphor’s getting downright ubiquitous... Anyhow I’m not categorically opposed to quick seduction, and you seem to have a hunger that could match my thirst, but even my little low standards of loving call for an introduction first. She had a leopard print top and a snake skin purse. She was pretty like a jackal, and she said her name just like a curse.

When I woke up the next morning I wasn’t me anymore. The man I’ve always known just wasn’t there. She turned me inside out, and what I saw terrified me. She showed me a cabinet of dreams and it was bare. I went back to that spot every God-damn day. They gave me work just so I could pay my tab. And now I stand behind the bar watching all the happy people, like rats who think they own the lab. I try to warn them, at least the ones that tip me well, I tell them any minute she might reappear. I try to teach them what Delilah taught me so hard. Some few listen, none of them hear, when I say,

“You can’t always walk on the sunny side of the street. Don’t you pick up every penny that you see. We’re all just animals, trying our damndest to survive. Just cause you sell yourself for nothing don’t make you free.”